Rant

Wouldn't it be better if Iggy and the Stooges were on the cover of Spin instead of Fall Out Boy?

My Favorite Pitchfork Reviews

Pitchfork Media is of course one of the most important music site on the planet as we know, and no, I don't constantly read their reviews. But, known also for their pretentious ranting about indie bands and bloated reviews that leaves you scratching your head, here are some of my favorites:

Autechre
Untilted
[Warp; 2005]
Rating: 7.4

This review is not a review, but instead a play. It involves a conversation between the Tortoise and Achilles about the Autechre record. What better way to review a record than this memorable way? Somebody put this on Broadway.

Audioslave
Out of Exile
[Interscope; 2005]
Rating: 6.8

This one is awesome and it makes me laugh. In the author's own words, the review is about "Fresh out of exile, Chris Cornell is trying to re-adjust to the real world. Cornell has one problem, though: He only communicates using Audioslave lyrics". Really, it's funny. Here's a sample:

"Chris Cornell at the eye doctor:

Eye Doctor: So what's wrong, Mr. Cornell?

Chris Cornell: I've stared straight into the sun.

Eye Doctor: You can't see anything?

Chris Cornell: I've seen 50,000 names all engraved on a stone.

Eye Doctor: So you see some things, but not other things.

Chris Cornell: Send my soul away.

Innovative indeed.

Next we have Jet, again, it's not a review, but a Youtube video:

Jet
Shine On
[Elektra; 2006]
Rating:

I would think that this was rated 0.0. Since the video was about a chimp reliving himself.

Next:
Tool
Lateralus
[Volcano]
Rating: 1.9

This "review" was written in the perspective of a Tool fan. Basically it was the fan talking how good music comes in the cycle of every 16 years. it brings out the stereotype of Tool fans likes doing math and that kind of shit. Did the reviewer even listen to the record? I didn't see any straight-forward description of what the music on the disc sounded like. You can't blame them, since major label artists suck (in the eye of Pitchfork), right?

Why not another Tool review?
Tool
10,000 Days
[Volcano; 2006]
Rating: 5.9

The reviewer was not a Tool fan to begin with, because: "At 28, I'd feel funny mocking 15-year-olds still finding their place in the world. And as for taking them seriously-- well, I take Tool about as seriously as I do black metal or Lil Jon or the films of Tsui Hark. Which is to say, not very."

How can a review be fair if you already dislike Tool to begin with? Even if all the reviews are subjective, let's not make it this fucking obvious.

"If only the music had one-tenth of the Public Image Limited song's power. Instead I find myself in the awkward position of trying to sell you on the merits of a deeply uncool band by telling you to go buy their last album instead.
I guess the more opinionated, the better. No, I'm not that big of a Tool fan and I don't think 10,000 Days is a great record, but that review was just so subjective and predictable.

At last but not least:
Nine Inch Nails
The Fragile
[Nothing/Interscope]
Rating: 2.0

The reviewer complained about the record being bloated and predictable, but the irony is the review itself is bloated and predictable. I don't even know long the review itself it, but it just rant on about how much Nine Inch Nails is stupid and Trent Reznor sucks. It critized The Fragile being not concised enough, and the review itself was not concise itself.

And yeah, let me point this out:
" 1:49am: "Even Deeper," a track mixed by Dr. Dre, spits aluminum riffs into my headphones. The entire concept of pairing of Dr. Dre and Nine Inch Nails, a match ,maid in Kornboy heaven (or most likely the Interscope commissary) is laughable."

It's "made", not "maid".

Of course Pitchfork Media has its legion of haters, and I would think that reviews like that contributes to it.

Jesus Reigns on the Internet

The Lord Jesus Christ is always looking upon us, even on this fascinating place that is the Internet. There's a few catergories of these sites, and I'm blogging about it because I'm weird.

1. The God Loves You
Who is Jesus ?This one has some pretty comprehensive Q & A about our Lord Jesus Christ. There's also some very important information about God and man, like:

Okay.

Oh, How I Love Jesus! I just found this while I googled "love Jesus", it's yet to be set up right now. Oh well.

Wow, this one is for the kids! Everything on there is written for the kids, so you know, it's in kiddie language. Such as:
" Jesus Loves You
Jesus loves you this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong, they are weak but he is strong. Yes, Jesus loves you, yes, Jesus loves you, yes Jesus loves you, the Bible tells me so!"

2. The Jesus Sucks
a last.fm group about how Jesus sucks

An article about how Jesus sucks It's interesting. The author listed some pretty to the point reasons:

I've only read half of Luke -- after which I couldn't stomach any more -- so I may be missing some important things. However, from what I've seen, the whole "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you", "do not judge", etc. is, like, one thing he said once. The majority of the time, Jesus is busy doing one of the following:
Showing off.
Telling people how great he is.
Judging people.
Warning people how fucked they're going to be if they don't do what he says.


Funny that there's lot more love for Jesus than hate. Or maybe I didn't look hard enough.

3. The Presence of Jesus in Their Title
What would Jesus blog? Good question, never asked myself that question until now.

i think the dude is trying to be funny

The Hollywood Jesus Dressup This is just creepy .

Jesus Tattoos I Found on the Internet

Doesn't Jesus look nice on your arm? (or leg, or whatever?)


How long does this tattoo takes to make? That's gonna hurt. But hey, Jesus suffered for you so you should suffer for him, I guess.

Praise our Lord, indeed.


************************************************************************************
I'm wrapping up just because I'm bored now. I think I'm losing my mind.

Year Zero=Science Fiction

Yes, Nine Inch Nails is releasing a new album on April 17th, and it is titled Year Zero, and things are getting a bit creepy (in a good way) for the promotion of this album...

There's a trail of websites containing an apocolyptic images and description of the USA, set in place around 2022 (or as the websites say, 0000). The government controls the media, adding substances to the drinking supplies to (possibly) control and sedate its citizen, an army controlled under God and religion, a new drug named Opal, and the Presence (aka the Hand of God)...

Here's the websites that's related to Year Zero:
I Am Trying to Believe
A site first discovered by fans, noticing on the back of the tour T-Shirt with the letters highlighted the above phase. A website that talks about Parepin, the substance added to the drinking supplies.

Be the Hammer
I don't really know what this is, a resistance site as some suggested.

Chruch of Plano
A Chruch website

105th Airborne Crusaders
The army under God.


Consolidated Mail System , appearently a ... mail system in the story...
Also the Consolidated Mail System, but you can't do anything with it.


Another Version of the Truth Clikck and drag the mouse around, there's a forum around
HERE,

There's audio clips around, and yes, ONE TRACK HAD LEAKED, "My Violent Heart" was found in a bathroom in Libson, Portugal, and all hell broke loose.

Yes, I heard the track, it's awesome.

There's static noises at the end of the song, and some fans analyzed this noise using spectrograph, and got this:






And in www.iamtryingtobelieve.com, there's this:

Fucking weird.

And of course, if you want to join the discussion and snoop around ,you can always count on this: Echoing the Sound Forum

This is very cool...I can now honestly say that Trent Reznor is a smart guy, he knows how to work things...

Mogao Cave

What I Brought Yesterday (or at least some of it)

I was planning to buy this album after "Smile" really grew on me.

Usually, when I buy albums base on the single I heard (I'm one of few who still buy the whole album instead of downloading the song), the album just have a few good songs. But not this one, I can say the whole album is great.

It's full of melodic clashes, the poppy atmosphere dominates the record, and there's the beat that keeps you moving. In other words, it's like one of those Top 40 hits, except it's better and not make you want to tear your hair out.



Also brought: Saul William's self tiltled sophmore album.


It's hip-hop, except with less profanity,less bragging and more meaning. The music itself it's not really what hip hop now sounds like: it's simplistic, a blend of electronics with a little (just a little) rock edge.

His lyrical intentions is much better than the usual "I got my hos and bitches line up, and my blings are thicker than your neck" kind of boo-hah. It's about life, proverty, politics and society.

Of course, he won't blow up because he didn't talk about his hos and bitches.

Here I Go Again

The Dudes Talks About...Hair


Gotta love those dudes. Now looking back, I'm not "feeling weird" about the whole "hoax bomb" thing anymore, I now think this is a bit too funny.

Follow-Up

I just have to post this picture.